From shore to shore

Drifting along

Decisions change instantly and in the blink of an eye, memories fade and become unfamiliar experiences. Emotions float, drift along with the body from shore to shore in search for a haven. A place to settle and feel comforted. But every now and then, like tears dripping unnoticed, fear licks around the old wounds, breaks open forgotten boxes. Inside those, traces of memories never able to escape remain silently, only to be exposed and set alight from time to time by the fear, the deep anxiety lying in the soul. The fear of being lonely and foreign, the fear of being not accepted, not known, not understood.
Facing the anxiety forces the body to drift along the ocean of hopefully buried, dark experiences again, forces the body to become aware of the deep scars upon the soul. From shore to shore, a piece more is picked up and evaluated to be situated and placed among the compass of understanding. It is only when the compass lacks structure or stability, when the body becomes affected by the soul's turmoil, that fear can usurp the whole essence of one's person. Leading to a cutting of the bonds between the tender embrace of water and strong grounding of nature. Leading to a slow process of losing one's orientation and way of life.
Drifting along becomes an escape into illusion, where no harm has to be faced to understand and follow one's path in life. It is until this illusion masks the whole existence, that it becomes impossible for anyone and anything to bring the doomed one back to the proposed path. From shore to shore is this existence pushed into an odysee of never recovering.
Recovery could be achieved by accepting that anxiety is a fuel to overcome pain and harm, but the one that feels comforted by his illusions remains steady in its belief and will, ironically, never find peace and a safe haven as the illusion tricks him into believing that it is already there. So in reality, the one is just drifting along without any destination...